Sep 19, 2016

PUPO: Our Transfer

I am officially PUPO.
Pregnant. Until. Proven. Otherwise.

Although, I have to admit, I don't really care for that acronym.

PUPO means, of course, things could work out.
But they also could not.

It just seems so.....pessimistic? Is it just me?
I'm gunning for a bit more positivity, I suppose.

Moving on....

Instead, I'm looking at it as I am technically, currently pregnant.
We are technically, currently parents.

Sounds a lot nicer don't you think?

The little circle of cells up there?
That's our baby.

I know, it's so cute, you don't have to tell me! ;)

Friday was transfer.
It was a day filled with all the feels.

I woke up and was surprised as to how warm it was.
I guess for a September day I was expecting more fall-ish weather.
But I'll take summer temps for as long as I can get!

I had coffee on the porch and we made cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

Afterward, Mark decided to mow the lawn and I went for a walk.
Not a .....sweat-to-death-burn-as-many-calories-as-possible walk.

Just a walk. In the nice weather.

The entire time I kept getting choked up.
Thinking about how these are the last few hours of ME. How I currently am.
How life currently is.
After this it's all about keeping this baby safe and healthy and thriving, no matter how small and minuscule it is.

And then I got back and checked Facebook and Instagram and realized just how many people have been rooting for us.
The comments alone brought me to tears.
Like I said, I have been a ball of emotions for a while now.

I showered, got dressed and put on some light make-up.
We headed out just before noon and arrived in Highland Park right on time.

I was scheduled for 12:50pm.

And man, did things move fast after that.

This wasn't the whole...wait around for at least an hour and fill out a shit ton of paperwork, just to wait around some more for transfer.

No, this was....sign one paper that states you know how to act like an adult and not do crazy things while pregnant.
My wrist identifier was put on.
My name was called.
We headed back.

The nurse showed us our room with a huge smile on her face.

This time we were there to celebrate our victory.
We made it to transfer!

We changed into our scrubs.

The mood was light and funny and we cracked jokes the entire time.
With each other.
With the nurses.

Mark was required to wear scrubs this time, and apparently they are one-size fits all, because he looked like a convict straight out of the 8 Mile movie.

I couldn't stop laughing!
He kept asking the nurses if they had a bigger size, because this garbage bag didn't quite fit over his they sagged to his knees.

We met with the embryologist that told us our embryo thawed beautifully, and was told to pop my Valium.

Yesssss Ma'am.

We headed back to the transfer room.
At this point, it seemed too quick, and I wasn't sure if the Valium was working yet.
I did NOT want to feel that catheter being shoved through my cervix!

Apparently they were, because the nurse told Mark to sit down in a chair next to the transfer table.....and I promptly sat there because I thought he was talking to me. Ha!

He quickly stood me up, chuckling,  no, no....they aren't putting the baby in him darling, you sit here....and showed me the table.

They got me in my stirrups and talked us through the process.

The embryologist came in to confirm my identity and we were off and running.

Dr. Jacobs entered and started probing me with the speculum, wiping everything down, and getting the catheter ready.

I cramped a bit when he put it in, but was really more mesmerized by our embryo on the big screen above my head.

They had magnified it over 1,000 times and it was the size of the softball on the screen.
A pile of beautiful cells wiggling around.

They shrunk it back down to 100 times its size and we watched as a second, thin catheter scooped it up, and was preparing to place it through the original catheter in me.

The nurse dictated each step, like he was announcing a baseball game.
We were literally rooting out loud as the embryo was moved from one dish to the transfer dish, to me.

The nurse had a stomach ultrasound going and showed us the catheter entering my uterus, then a quick thrust forward, and a small flash of light occurred on the screen as the embryo left the catheter and landed in me.

Making me officially (technically) pregnant.

I cried more than I imagined. The nurse had tissues ready.
This mess of emotions is not uncommon.

I felt relaxed (hello! Valium!) but Mark was gripping my hand tightly the entire time.
The whole process was so surreal.

I got up shortly after and peed since my bladder was rather full.
(They require a full bladder of water during transfer.)

After that, we got dressed, I gave Dr. J a huge hug, and we were on our way.

All in all, we were there no more than a half hour.

I went about my business at home, after napping for a couple hours to wear off the Valium.
I did had some slight cramping after the transfer, but that subsided within a few hours.

So we are officially PUPO!!

And I am SURE everyone is wondering how and when I know if it worked.

So, you have to think of it this way.
Transfer day is the equivalent of someone who is not going through infertility treatments, have sex with their partner just after ovulation and the embryo makes its way down the fallopian tubes towards the uterus.

Those people wouldn't know they were pregnant for a couple weeks when they missed their period, right?

For me, the missing-my-period day is called Beta Day.

Beta is the blood draw to determine if my hcg number is "high enough" to confirm pregnancy.
If that number is good, then the next number, taken two days later, needs to be double or more the first one.

That means bebe is growing accordingly and on track.


So tell us when we will know!!

You will know when I know, and when I know is early October.
We will obviously be telling family and close friends first before I update the blog, but no worries, you'll get your turn, sound good?

Until then, my goal to is to avoid symptom-spotting, and Googling, and just trying to keep busy.
Which shouldn't bee too much of a problem since work has picked up substantially.

Thank you again for all your kind words in the last past few days.
Our friends and family and my TTC tribe cannot be beat!!


  1. Best. Blog. Post. Ever! Happy happy joy joy - I've been thinking about you two all weekend. Praying he or she really grabs on and hangs tight!!!!

  2. So exciting!! Hoping that babe decides to stick around for 9 months!!

  3. I am soooo thinking of you all!!!

  4. I teared up as I read this. I'm rooting for you guys and pray that your baby is officially on its way!!! xoxox

  5. I loved the explanation, because I really didn't understand exactly what was happening when we last talked. And yes, stay off Google - work will keep you busy enough :D Hugs!!

  6. I am excited for you! Big hugs and lots of prayers coming your way! Relax and don't stressed b/c that's not good for the sweet little one growing inside you! I'll be waiting for the big news!

  7. I know this has been a long journey . . . no doubt about it . . . but now that you had your transfer I thought, uh, that was fast! I guess meaning that infertility will be a distant memory soon! So excited for you and Mark!

  8. So exciting! Sending prayers and positive vibes, all the way from Oklahoma!!

  9. Elated for you both to the point of tears! Can't wait to read more! Love to you both.

  10. Good luck on not symptom spotting! I failed miserably. I'm so excited and I have been thinking of you and praying for you.

  11. Ah! This made me cry!! Big hugs and all the positive thoughts. I'm so excited for you and can't wait to read more.