Jul 22, 2016

I want this to be over

You guys, I am thisclose to throwing in the towel.
I have hinted to my husband, and to people that ask, and mostly to myself....more than a couple times in the last couple of months, as we have been patiently gearing up for our third round of IVF....that I'm done.

Bye Felicia.
Seacrest, Out.

The whole she-bang.

At first thought, I reminded myself that we have four covered IVF rounds under our insurance belt and that I would be silly to not exhaust all options.

But dudes...I'm done.
I'm just done with this season of my life.

I'm not angry or anything,
I'm simply over the Groundhog Day life I'm living.

I'm over going round in circles with this portion of IVF.
I'm getting pretty fed up with all these shots and hormones, and edging ever closer to the point of throwing a fit about the whole thing.

Email main nurse to say I need to do another round.
Get a period.
Go in for a bloody baseline ultrasound.
Start birth control pills.
End birth control pills.
Get another period.
Go in for another bloody baseline.
Start injections.
Take injections for what seems like a life time.
Continue morning monitoring appointments at different increments: first every week, then every other day, then every day.
Wait for the call each afternoon.
Get my updated injection protocol and new timeline.
Pull the trigger and do one final injection.
Go in for retrieval.
Doctor sucks out my shitty eggs.
Get retrieval results, then fertilization results.
Then Five Day results.
Then Final results.

I'm just done with this part.
When we started out, I thought our biggest hurdle would be to overcome our genetic issues.

We haven't even gotten to that point yet.

I am so very ready for this season of egg collection to be done with.
I am done with stomach injections.
I am done with retrievals.
I just want this to work so we can finally move forward with the next of a million steps ahead of us.

I need good results, guys.

We are down to the wire with this round's injections and monitoring.
I have been going in daily since Wednesday.

Today is Day 14 of shots, bringing my grand total of self-injections to 55 once trigger is complete.


Not including the seven blood draws I've had this cycle, and of course, not counting the past two cycles. My grand total for injections this year is over 150 and I'm pretty sure that's enough for an eternity.

And don't even get me started on what's to come with injections if and when this part is over.
Think a daily butt shot with a 1.5 inch needle for TWELVE. WEEKS.
Glamorous, I know.

Those damn follicles are nearly ripe for the picking and I JUST WANT TO GET THERE ALREADY!

I keep seeing things in 4's recently.
Maybe it's a sign?

Four geese were sitting along the road and all flew together over my car as I drove past.
I collected four frogs from our pool this morning.

Wouldn't four beautiful 5-day embryos be just lovely if we could get them this cycle?

I think so.

Man, that would be something, huh?

Shockingly, I have ANOTHER morning monitoring appointment this AM, and since our facility is booked to the max...I don't have an actual appointment.
I was informed to show up at 6:30am and they would squeeze me in.
So I would assume my wait could be 15 minutes or an hour.
Let the fun commence.

My estrogen levels are through the roof right now.
I have 23 total follicles...13 of them are either where they need to be or close behind.
The rest probably won't make it.

I have been leery to publish those numbers considering what has happened in the past, but what the hell, let's go for it.

The nurse on Thursday afternoon said I would be triggering Friday or Saturday, most likely with a retrieval for Sunday or Monday.

Let's get 'er done, yea?
More updates post-retrieval!
Wish us luck! XO


  1. To be honest, I'm ready for this part to be done for you I can't even begin to imagine how YOU feel. So so so hopeful for awesome results so you and Mark can move onto the next phase. Hang in there Tia, if it makes you feel better you look absolutely darling in that photo :)

  2. I'm so sorry, Sugar. I know these days seem so long, I'm right there with ya, but it really is almost over. Just finish this retrieval and then you can re-evaluate all you want. 4 embryos would be fantastic.

  3. I feel for you girl . . . hoping for great things!