May 24, 2016

Our Weekend

Life is so weird sometimes.

I was making this blanket statement to Mark over the weekend, while we were sitting in the cabin of an off-shore racing boat, mixing up stimulation medications over a cooler.

I couldn't even make up our life right now.
It's a complete mix of chaos and thriving and uncertainty and joy all at once.

We had every intention of walking away from the daily grind for the weekend.
Setting up camp on our boat, in a harbor on Lake Michigan, watching the sunset with family, listening to Fleetwood Mac.

The maiden voyage for 2016....the weekend to officially launch summer.

And then reality slapped us straight between the eyes at sunset.
The guys were called in for emergency work, and I packed up the car for home.

Change of plan. No problem. We'll pick up where we left off tomorrow.

And then I got the call from Mark.
At 8:30am.

We are just wrapping up. 

I could tell the disappointment in his voice.
All this hard work.
All the time and effort it takes to get a boat ready for the water, only to launch it and have to wrap it up and take it out of the water without ever turning on the engine for a quick trip.

This boat is his baby.

I did my best to keep a positive spin on the weekend, even though Mark was at his wits end and without sleep.

My own body is sore from the stress of too much work and working out and not enough down time.

Work is insane right now and Friday evening, when I finally pulled in the driveway, all I could do was look at Mark and say THIS WEEK!

He completely agreed.

We were weary.
We had been looking forward to this first summer weekend for a while.
We have both been moving at a rate of 150% recently with no end in sight.

Back at home on Sunday, the weather beckoned to be outdoors.

I began taking Letrozole (or Femara), a nightly pill taken in addition to daily stim injections.

Ladies...this pill is not your friend.

It was recommended to take it at night, which I have been doing, but man....the ongoing dull headache that will. not. go. away. is starting to get old.

I grocery shopped and started cleaning the pool area, trying to ignore the headache and hungover feeling.

Our home is surrounded by large oak trees.
These trees are a blessing, and a curse sometimes.
Every year they drop thousands of little stringy brown things....and they all end up in the pool.

So each year we frantically work to keep the pool free of these stringy things....only to turn around and see our work completely undone.

They rain out of the sky, as the wind blows, with a vengeance.

I think I skimmed and swept and raked our back yard for three hours.
And when I was done it still looked like I hadn't started.

Mark got home and I was just staring at our back yard....laughing like a psycho.

Because sometimes life just punches you in the face even when you put your best foot forward.
Nothing went completely wrong....but it sure as hell didn't go right.

But what are you going to do?

We just looked at each other with tired eyes, and sighed deeply, and hugged.
And waived the white flag.

Next week will be better.
Thanks for reading.


  1. Every day is a new one. It can be tough busting your ass to find out that it didn't work out, but you seem to have a good attitude at the end of it all...that's always a good thing girl!

  2. I'm sorry you're having a rough week! I hope you can get out on that boat over the long weekend and unwind. And I'm impressed that you're going right ahead with the next cycle!

    I mentioned the first time I commented that I was a few weeks behind you in my cycle -- well, my follicles aren't growing quite as they should (I only have three good contenders at this point) and I find out tomorrow if we're going to cancel the whole thing and try again with a different protocol. I'm really struggling with not knowing, and I'm glad to find this community where I'm not alone.

  3. Glad you were able to eek out the positives of the weekend, even if it wasn't what you planned. Hugs! :D

  4. Ugh! Sounds like you are running in place lately and that has got to wear on you after a while. When you finally get that boat in the water it will be 10,000 times sweeter than usual...and you will!! Hang in there...and maybe get a pool boy. If only money grew on those trees instead of long brown stringy things.

  5. I am so happy this week is full of 80 degrees and (so far!) sunshine for you guys. I hope you both get some much needed downtime and man, I hope those headaches improve!!

  6. Those weeks are the absolute worst. I'm so sorry you're having one.