Mar 11, 2016

Kicking Dicks

Let's end this week on a much less serious and SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS approach, shall we?

Amy wrote on the topic of busyness and included a fun little phrase called kicking dicks.
I snorted with laughter so of course I had to write about it.

Urban Dictionary, which is the means and end to all important topics in life, defines kicking dicks as the art of doing nothing.

If used in a phrase, one might say,
"Noxema isn't doing any work, she's just sitting there kicking dicks."

These days it seems people think it's the coolest to be super swamped.
I can't tell you how many times I have heard people complaining, better yet BRAGGING, about how busy they are. Like if we aren't bogged down with a to-do list we are not important.

Why this is a thing is beyond me.

Just like everyone else in this world with goals and aspirations, I too have a million things I strive to accomplish.

The wrench in my grand plan to take over the world....I am a professional procrastinator.

I love nothing more than to strike while the iron is hot in a mess of creativity and stress to complete something, be it personal or professional, but the Hell if it isn't at the 11th hour.

Remember when I had a few weeks between jobs last year and I knocked out like 300 projects?
I am pretty sure what I accomplished in those weeks was more than most people do in a year!

But, I also sat on my ass a lot.
Because I NEEDED to.
I was spent.

Just a girl over in my corner, kicking dicks.

I don't know if it's my ADD, the seasons, the way I'm wired, or what...but I cannot for the life of me do something of any importance unless it comes together literally at the last minute.

I am better at knocking down my to-do list during the latter half of whatever the time frame is.
Which might be the complete opposite for most people.

But, truth be told, it's not like the project I need to do is out of sight, out of mind.
I am constantly thinking about solutions, ideas, and alternatives for whatever it is whilst the dick kicking commences.

I need all my pawns in place before I can make a big move and crush the other player.

It's feverish, really.

When I was re-designing our lobby (which is now what I'm calling our entryway sitting room...because BOO to the stuffy term of a sitting's now a LOBBY...we fancy like that),
I knew it would be go big or go home.

I am no good at progressive decorating.
You know....putting in a light here, adding a tchotchke there...later adding a rug or side table.
All at once or nothing at all.
I like to get everything lined up, then attack that room like it's do or die.

I knew I wanted something seamless, peaceful, and tropical...that flowed easily and was relatively neutral.

So I would walk into the space, look at the room from different angles, rub my chin, and walk away.

For days.

In and out, during different times of day, in different lighting and and viewed at different angles...until finally, I could see the space for what it should be.

Call me crazy.
My methods are not normal by any means.

Could you imagine being my husband, and we're watching TV, and I randomly get up in the middle of the show to go look at a room again because I may have a twinge of inspiration or random thought?

Yea...welcome to the Thunder Dome, people.
Mark is so blessed.

I try not to take too much inspiration from the droves of basic design in the world these days.
Everybody's shit is the same and it's maddening...with their burlap and chalk boards and perfectly placed trays filled to the brim with garbage.

I will not conform to the popular belief that a house is only beautiful if it's slapped together with rustic pieces and shiplap and every corner is filled with multiple, stacked objects competing for your attention. #fixerupper (even though I will watch that show every damn time it's on)


I walk a line between these manic states of productivity and chaos and utter shutdown.
I've actually been a lot better these days...wish-washing between extremes really takes a toll.

So tell me.....conjunction junction...what's your function?

How do you work? What's your lifestyle like?

Do you love the bragging rights of the uber busy or are you just a lazy fuck snarfing down Cheetos that are resting on your boobs?

No judgement here.  #doyouboo

Oh and PS- I am totally judging if you are lying around eating snacks off your chest.
Get to work! :)

Happy Friday! Thanks for reading!


  1. I'm a childless housewife, so I definitely do not contribute to our society's glorification of the word "busy." I get done what I need to get done that day, then I do whatever I want. That usually looks like watching Netflix in bed with ice cream or reading books and listening to music. No shame, me being at home keeps us both sane. I feel like people use how "busy" they are to justify doing things that make them happy as a "reward." Punishing and rewarding yourself ruins the only good part of being an adult to me.

  2. Oh my, I think I could write a whole blog post just as a reply to this! This is so something I think about a lot. The NY time came out with a wonderful article called The Busy Trap that I so loved.

    Anyways, YES. Why do people talk all the time about their insane schedules? People feel important if they have a full calendar. Even if it means their lives are literally insane. I have friends who are constantly, due to their children, pulled in 3 different directions but it's all ....... a choice.

    We CHOOSE to keep the boys to one sport per season. Not three. It's always been a family rule because - guess what? Even that is insane. In April, between L and B we will have 23 baseball games. TWENTY THREE. That isn't including family commitments, birthday parties, school events, etc. My planner is full yet again - it's all a choice. Did we have to sign up Beckett at age three in T-ball? No. So I'm not going to spend my social life complaining to people and friends about how 'insane' we have it. Everyone is busy. Everyone has something going on - no kids, 1 kid, 5 kids. It's all about how your structure your time with what is important.

    Omg, sorry so long! :) Happy Friday Tia!

  3. I am so lazy that I am just now getting around to reading Friday blog posts. I think I am pretty much like you. I thrive in the crunch if it's a big task. Procrastinating is an art form. I am now committed to kicking dicks on a regular basis, it's been too long!

  4. I am not a procrastinator. My weakness is that I enjoy downtime way too much! And what the hell. I need it, and outside of work there just isn't much time period. Being busy all the time absolutely does not fit with my personality. I like silence, solitude and pajamas way too much for all of that.