Mar 25, 2016

I'm Feeling Good

After our PGD set-up completed last week, I quickly realized this would be my last week free of any hormones, shots, doctor's visits, unwanted pokes or prods (outside of Mark, ahem), drugs.....basically anything that could end up making me feel like shit.

This was my last free week to workout as hard as I wanted, so I hit the gym every day.
This was my last week free of a doctor telling me not to over-indulge, so over-indulge I did.
This was my last week of waking up feeling as good as I possibly could, no sickness, no debilitating hormones, no second life growing inside making me pee every hour.

Last week before any surgeries, daily shots, weekly monitoring.
Last week to be exactly how I am.
Last week of being as selfish as I want, to do what I want, when I want, as I pleased.

Because next week?
Next week I start off with an ultrasound, bloodwork, and get put back on birth control.

The same birth control I couldn't wait to go off and get pregnant.
The same birth control that would make me down right crazy.
The same birth control that should keep me from getting pregnant, will now help to aid in a successful one.

Weird, right?

The reason to go on birth control prior to starting stimulation meds that will ramp up egg production, is to quiet my hormones, postpone ovulation, and clear away any developing cysts that can occur during a normal cycle.

I stay on birth control for about three weeks, overlapping the last week with an injection protocol, and quickly transferring to daily stimulation injections to begin growing some juicy follicles (aka eggs) that will be retrieved when ready.

But today?
Today I feel awesome. I couldn't have asked for a smoother transition into all of this chaos.
I'm taking everything one day at a time, scheduling what needs to be scheduled each week, not thinking too much about the future.

This is my last week.
After this? I am literally giving my time, money, sanity...all of bring another life into this world.

This will be our biggest accomplishment to date.
It is sure to test us in ways I could never anticipate.

I know I am strong, and am sure it will be proven as I recover from surgery, and take my daily injections, and quiet my crazy hormones, and deal with night sweats and frustration and joy and everything else that is guaranteed to come along the way.

I feel ready.
I never knew the last four years would ultimately be preparing me for this.
All the struggle, all the heart ache, all the frustration.....making us stronger to take on these challenges.

I am planning to have another kick ass weekend!
I hope you are too!
Take care, and thanks for reading.


  1. Enjoy your weekend, my friend! After all you've been through, you deserve to be "selfish" sometimes. Thinking of you always.

  2. Enjoy this time before you go through another step, I would say you definitely deserve it! Have a nice Easter!

  3. I absolutely loved this post Tia! I have to agree, that for all the shit you went through to get here is not only worthy it, but you seem to be in the best frame of mind, and know you will be the best Momma evah!

  4. I'm late catching up, but I so hoped you enjoyed it.