Jun 10, 2015

Because we worked for it

I was reading Lindsay's blog post last week and it got me thinking about a conversation I had recently.
Mark and I were sitting on our porch one afternoon, basking in all the glories of a warm summer evening, sipping drinks and chatting about things. Nothing in particular, just stuff going on in our lives, opinions on things...nonsense really.

And he goes, "I always hate having to find an excuse about the house. People will come over and make a statement about the size or layout of our home (in a good way) and I immediately feel like I have to have an excuse about why we have it. So I always use the excuse that you have a good job."
Disclaimer: I am about to flip out in this post. 


I DO have a good job. But why does that have to be an "excuse?" He has just as good of a job as me...so why does it always have to be pawned off on each other like we're not good enough to own this home we live in. Like it's a big ruse and maybe someone handed us that money?
Why can't we just be proud of the seed we have sewn?

(No one has ever given us a dime, for the record. Ever. We earned everything ourselves without handouts.)

So I got all pissed off about that statement and told him I'm done with feeling like we have to dumb ourselves down or lower our standards or "fit in" with whoever we are talking to so they don't judge us.
They are supposed to be our friends and family. They wouldn't, and shouldn't, judge us.
And if they do? They can go fuck themselves.

Because you know what? Everything we own has come down to two major things in our lifestyle.
Motivation and lack of kids (and maybe a little bit of luck). That's it.

Those two (major) things have set us apart from the droves of people that can only dream of things like this. And it's not to say we are better than anyone. We aren't. Our shit smells to high Heaven. But it is so very true that having kids early, before your career has taken off, can put some items considered "luxuries" on the back burner for the time being.
It's not the case for everyone, but it is for most of America.

This Halloween signifies ten years of us being together. And for many, many of those years, the idea of having kids wasn't appealing to us at all.
But these days our sights have shifted, and the idea of bringing a baby into this world is rather exciting. I look forward to the day I can hold a mini G in my arms.
Kids are extremely expensive. Everyone knows that. And since we didn't have kids early in our relationship, we filled our time and our wants and needs as we deemed necessary.
It's nothing I feel that we have to apologize for. It just was what it was.
We have more "extra" income here and there, because all of our extra funds aren't allocated to our baby.
In the future? Sure....that will absolutely happen. But not today.

Mark and I are some of the most driven people we know, in all aspects of life. No, we aren't CEO's of major million dollar companies, but we are highly motivated, in our personal and professional lives, to do the very best we can.

I choose to make my job as fulfilling and lucrative as possible for myself and our livelihood, and won't settle for mediocre. This means negotiating salaries and finding ways to be an asset to my company by going the extra step and finding solutions. Why? Because you don't get ahead by taking a back seat. You fight for your right (to party), then you grab that damn paycheck by the balls and run all the way to the bank.

And our home. OOOHHH our home. Yes, it is beautiful. Yes, it has more land than the average home.
But guess what? It doesn't just look like this all the time on its own.

As shocking as this is going to sound, it takes hours upon hours of work to maintain it. And right now, since we are kid-less, we don't pay to have the maintenance outsourced.
We will cross that hurdle if and when the time comes.

When we get home from work we don't just plop down on the couch and call it a night.
We make an effort every damn day to make sure this place stays in tip top shape.

So Mark does most of the yard. He mows and whacks and trims and prunes and picks his way to that fairway-worthy lawn you see in photos. I plant and water and weed. (and sometimes forget to water)

And the pool. Yes, I do love our pool. I was over the moon excited to find our home and a bonus to know it had a private pool in the backyard. But again, before our friends come over to lounge around and enjoy themselves, what they don't see is that it took anywhere from 1-4 hours to prep that pool to perfection. Between the chemicals, and the measuring, and the skimming, and the draining and the back washing, and the vacuuming (yes, pools get vacuumed), it's a labor of love.
I love hearing the backhanded compliment, "it looks great, but that's going to be a lot of work."
Duh dude. We know this. Thanks. Luckily we aren't asking for your help because it sounds like you'd just complain the whole time. So shut the fuck up and hop in or go home.
But you know what can't be beat? After a hard fucking day of work I can just run and jump into my own damn pool butt naked if I feel like it. part of the reason I work out so much :)

Same goes for the home itself. Although summer time calls for a more relaxed attitude with cleaning in general, there is still dusting and vacuuming and organizing to be done. In every room. Especially those that our guests see.

Our dogs are disgusting. They drool and puke and shit and shed all over the damn place. I love them to pieces but their upkeep is ridiculous. However, I won't let that stop me from having a clean-ish home. You won't smell my dogs in my house. I was hungover as shit last Sunday and still managed to hand shampoo the carpets.

The key to this whole situation is it is worth it to us.
Some people travel with their free time.
Some people have the luxury of getting pregnant without blinking and rear those kids into amazing adults, and that is what they spend their time on.
Every single person should be proud for whatever they feel is most important and shouldn't find an excuse or dumb down what they have to "fit in."
I wouldn't trade our space for an easier lifestyle any day. We are thrilled to have found this gem in such a unique neighborhood (that's the luck part), and are willing to do whatever it takes to keep it as nice as the day we moved in.

So our new motto, when someone gasps at our home and blurts out, "How did YOU guys end up here?"

"Because we worked for it."

And not a word more.

Happy Hump Day, loves.


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  2. I am constantly apologizing for how nice our home is. I hate it. We got a good deal and I like to decorate and the hubs likes to do shit around the house. Plus we are both neat freaks. Sorry not sorry.

  3. Thanks for the shoutout girl. I love so much about this and can definitely identify. We've worked our asses off, too, and make sacrifices: we both drive old cars but we own three homes. Those homes will make us money for years to come! And we apologize and make excuses, too. But be bold and proud of what you've accomplished! I think it's awesome.

  4. I can't ever imagine questioning why someone is in the home they are in - whether its big small old new purple black or pokla dot. What the heck???? It's funny what people will say, isn't it?

    I was driving my new Jeep at NBS and a mom who hadn't seen me in awhile commented on my car 'oh a new toy for yourself???? And after Mike got the porshe?'

    I immediately fumbled and tried to explain, well, my previous car I had driven for almost 8 years and it had 100,000+ miles on it and needed a couple grand of work done, blah blah blah. But then I stopped myself. WHY am I explaining myself? Mike had a killer year and we have two brand new cars that we paid for in full. Sorry, not sorry.

    I'm with you Tia! Hard work pays off. Enjoy it.

  5. That's how I feel about a lot of stuff in life right now. Especially having summers off. I work my ass off during the school year seeing the worst that humanity has to offer and trying to help students and teachers succeed, so yes the paid time off is my compensation for that. Gabriel and I also bought a house that wouldn't make us "house poor" so that we could upgrade it and make it our own and still keep doing fun stuff, but it really seems to put people (especially my mother) not eh defensive and thinking we get handouts. Nope hard work and lots of busting ass is what gets us to where we are. I love your honesty in broaching this subject, it is a hard one to not sound defensive about and you did it perfectly!

  6. I know exactly how you feel. We have a ton of nice things: big house, home theater, 4 wheeler, race car, etc. But we busted ass in order to get those things. Now, when people ask us to do something and we say we can't because we don't have enough money, they always make judgements because we have those things. "Well how come you can't come to this ball game, but you can go on a cruise this summer?" or "How come you can't come with us to dinner, but you have a race car and a home theater?" Well...truth be told, we prioritize, and I'd rather go on a cruise or to a race than go with you and waste my money. haha. And, we sacrifice to be able to go places we like and have things we enjoy. You shouldn't have to feel sorry for your possessions, you worked hard for them. Well said, chick.

  7. I love your home and I love the message behind this. I got comments about my wedding, even though it wasn't nearly as grand as others I've seen but it was beautiful and people assumed someone paid for it. Helllll no- we did. My husband had my stepson before I came along, and you are right- kids are so damn expensive. Yes, he's worth it in every way- but children aren't cheap and life isn't either. Good for you working hard for this beautiful home!