May 29, 2014

Sorry, not Sorry Link-Up

Oh hey there!
Do you know what happens when you pair up two sexy bitches who blog?

We do a link-up....obviously.

Write ten pet peeve sentences, starting with "Sorry, I'm not sorry but" and start venting!!
Then, come on back to our blogs, leave a comment, and link-up!!
Best pet peeves wins a Starbuck's Gift Card!

You ready? Here are mine:
May 27, 2014

Memorial Day

May 22, 2014

10 Things About Me and a Zappos Giveaway!

Here are ten random facts about me:

1) The last time I puked was Sunday. Way to go just recovered from ebola and went on a drinking binge. Luckily your husband fed you bread after said puking until you passed out.

2) I am a Michael Jackson FANATIC and may or may not have watched THIS VIDEO a million times at work yesterday. (I did)

May 21, 2014

60 Day Bikini Check-In and other stuff

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Val gives everyone a 90 day fitness challenge to get into shape for summer where you are supposed to lose inches, tone up, and get your fat ass in shape...and guess what?
I think I'm doing the opposite.
Like....I lift weights 3-4 days a week and do cardio the rest and for some reason I feel like I look bigger in the 60 days pics vs. the 30 days.....amiright?
It's okay. We'll get there. But sweet baby jebus....come on with it.

Here's the beginning:

May 19, 2014

These Hands.

May 16, 2014

I'm not funny

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I have been trying to write something of any importance for the whole week. Seriously.
Something, anything, that would be considered worthy of reading and yet....nothing.
Nothing funny, nothing serious, nothing anything. Just nothing.

Besides the fact that it is fucking SNOWING outside and I am wrapping up day 2 of my ebola from some fuck-tard that licked my phone (just kidding, that didn't really happen) I am all out of inspiration.

Crash is doing much better, by the way. Still a little limpy in the morning but his wounds are healing nicely.
I am on my 10th sickness of the winter. Yea, I said winter. Remember how I just said it is snowing?
May 16th obviously still means winter.
I haven't been able to work out in two days and my muscles feel tight and antsy.
I just broke a glass candle holder with my laptop to write this post.
I spent most of my sick day yesterday deep cleaning cat hair out of my carpets and detailing the exterior window sills of the house, in my pj's. You're welcome for the sight neighbors.

So with that, I hunted the interwebs (ie- looked at my Blogger list) and found that a chick I follow, Helene in Between, is doing a large link-up with "Firsts."
May 12, 2014

1st Hubby Jack Client + Dog Update

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Popping in real quick to get you guys a little update to my weekend.

First, I had the lovely Lindsay e-mail me late last week asking for me to pick up where Hubby Jack left off in her blog design. She blogs over at Bourbon, Lipstick, and Stilettos and is very much a girly girl with a bit of an edge. This Kentuckian talks about her obsession with make-up and other fab lady products so I wanted to make sure her design had that tough girl feel about it.

Here is the finished product:
May 8, 2014

There's no niche

Apparently this week is all about reflecting on life and junk.
Bear with me.
I promise it won't be all philosophical for too much longer. 
I mean, there is plenty of smack talk and drinking and shenanigans to partake in so I'll wrap this up quick. 

Anyways, as you may be aware, I talk about almost everything on this little ole' blog of mine.  There is not much of a filter and there is not much clarity to any of it.
Some days are purely rage filled while others are hopeful and inspiring and then the next minute I'm talking about heaux's and boobs and we're all sliding down a slip-n-slide to Hell together because you know you are laughing about it.
May 6, 2014

When are you guys going to have kids?

The all too familiar question I just know most ladies get asked the second they get married.
For Mark and I, we actually never got that question until recently. 
I guess our family always knew we weren't really "into" kids and for a very long time neither of us wanted to bother.
And then I flipped the script two years ago and now it's a thing.
It's a frustrating thing, quite frankly.
Spring is among us and the layers upon layers of winter clothing are being shed and the one thing I always notice are cute little baby bumps of the Chicago ladies gearing up for late summer or fall babies.
I want that.

So where are we with baby-making?
May 5, 2014

Keep Going

Sunday was rough because Saturday was awesome.
I woke up with the worst hang over I have had in a long time.
You know the one....the one where you probably should have thrown up at some point in the night but never did and now that pukey heavy-headed feeling is in full force.
And the bags under your eyes have their own bags.
And your skin is dry and pale (okay, that might be winter related...I digress)
May 1, 2014

The Commuter's Uniform- Rain Edition

Many of you know that I hoof it on foot to work every day.
My "dream" when we moved was to be able to walk to and from the train each day because my road rage is out of control and I just know one day I am going to mow over a minivan with those stupid fucking stick figure families on the back.

I already have to walk 15 minutes from the train to the office, so what's another five to get from my doorstep to the train? It's all about priorities.

Anyways, I have been fine tuning my "uniform" as I like to call it, for approximately 11 years.
That's how long I have been traveling via train, whether it was for school or work.