Dec 20, 2013

Hope for the Holidays

This week has been trying.
A lot has happened, changed, evolved, since the last post.
And that was only a week ago.

My outlook on what is important and worth fighting for and worth listening to and how to go about things has shifted.
For the better, I hope.

I am grateful for the fact that we have PPO insurance, and although there are many poor things to say about health insurance these days, the fact of the matter is...we have it, and can get the treatment we feel we deserve as needed and without question.

I am grateful for the plastic surgeon who was able to re-attach my husband's lip after my tiniest, and oldest dog, accidentally bit his face.

I am grateful for my husband's perserverance through 10 local shots to the lip and 20 stitches, and the patience it has taken for him to heal, and speak normally again, and smile again.

I am grateful for vacation days, that I am able to take as needed to take care of my family and decide how, as a family, we are moving forward.

So, it's no surprise that my oldest dog is an asshole. A spoiled little asshole.
He really is.
And yet, he is an angel at the same time.
A loyal angel.
And he made a mistake.
A big mistake, in most people's eyes.
He bit his owner.

But the thing is, we are LUCKY he bit one of us.
And lucky of the location of the bite.
It could have been an eye or something terribly unfixable.
He could have been cornered by a little child and reacted poorly.
He could have taken out another family member.
We could have been sued.
He could have been destroyed.

We are fully aware that this is no laughing matter.
Things needed to change.
We talked about putting him down.
Ok, talked is not the right word.
We sobbed through the option of putting him down.
We sobbed through contemplating giving away our youngest bulldog Burn so that Crash can live his last few years in peace.
We talked about giving up.
We also talked about how it would definitely take a meticulous person with a certain type of family to care for an English Bulldog.
We talked about how giving Crash up would be a death sentence.

We also listened to a bunch of other people give their opinions. And we listened to and weighed all of them.
"Put him down."
"Give up."
"He needs to be removed."
"Don't stop fighting for what you believe is right."
"He is family."
"It's just a bump in the road."

Everyone has their opinion.
I was so upset, and so stressed, and so worried that we might actually lose one of the dogs, one way or another, by re-homing, or the alternative, that I made myself sick.

So as Bayou recovered and had his stitches removed this week.
I fought a terrible fever and more days off work.

Luckily, about a month ago, I had both dogs fitted for muzzles.
And quite frankly, I don't really want to hear how cruel muzzles are.
They can save their lives.
We have been training them to "enjoy" the muzzles as best they can when all four of us are in the same room together.
We are electing to NOT re-home Burn.
We will NOT be euthanizing Crash.

We have resolved to give each dog their "time" with us if we are home, one on one.
Switching as necessary. Keeping things neutral.

When we want to pretend like we are one big happy family?
Muzzles on.
It conks them right out.
They know they are both defenseless and submit to knowing we will take care of them.

The only time they are together without muzzles is to be let outside in our yard.
It is big enough for both of them to roam without injury.
It gives them a chance to be "free" together and I love watching them run, well, waddle, side by side, off into the woods.

It will get better.
And we will stay a family, as is, until it is out of my hands.
And maybe we ARE crazy for continuing this.
But I know one thing, I would rather be crazy, than insane for giving up on a family matter how hairy.

I know these last few posts haven't been that festive, but let me tell you, this has been all consuming.

PS- on a positive note, although I am still coughing (that never seems to end), I am not sick anymore, and Bayou is back to his boisterous shenanigans and driving me crazy.

Christmas cheer to follow.
I have a lot of details of my crazy Annual Family Christmas party coming up this weekend.

And to my new followers, Welcome!
I promise this blog is actually funny sometimes.

TBag. Out.

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