Dec 11, 2013

Bring it know how life only throws you as much as you can handle?
Well, I think that is happening to me and quite frankly, I'm not sure I should just admit defeat or be pissed that apparently this is it.
This is how much we can handle.
I should just deal the hand we have been dealt and that's that.
So here's the deal.

Maybe God, or whoever, doesn't feel like I need to have a baby right now because of our pets.

Anyone who knows me in real life knows our cup runneth over with dealing with my two dogs and our cat.
I love them more than life itself, so this isn't a bad thing, it is just a daily uphill struggle and at times I feel like I am just being crushed under the insanity of it all.

As kindly as I can put it, I feel like we have special needs dogs.
Oh hell, let's just call it what it is....these dogs are retarded and don't know how good they have it.

Crash came into our world with a pile of medical problems and we spoiled the hell out of him for six years. We already had Bayou's cat and he is just the sweetest cat in the whole world, so why not make it harder, right?
Then, after isolating Crash from harm and the outside world, thought it would be wise to add another dog to the mix. Crash seemed to get along with a lady basset hound in the family when we went on trips.

We had worked out all the kinks with Crash and knew everything there was to know about having dog issues, the next one would be a breeze, I'm sure.

So I had my heart set on a little girl bulldog, but at the 11th hour switched to one of her brothers because I knew how to deal with male bulldogs.

I brought Burn home and immediately regretted it.
But being the loyal dog owner I am, stuck with it, and kept both dogs. 
They don't deserve shelter life, and I am not a quitter.

We now had two alpha males in the house with equally opposite issues.
It has been a struggle since day one trying to read their faces, figure out their triggers, break up fights.

As they age we had hopes of things calming down a bit.
But while Burn slows down, he has outsized Crash 2:1 and Crash, as he is considered elderly at this point, has become more paranoid and increasingly angry.

Take last night.
Crash is sitting next to Bayou and Burn hops up to his other side with a toy.
Innocent enough.
I walk over to flip out the recliner and give Burn's fat ass more space.
It was too fast of a movement for an old dog with poor eyesight and Crash immediately bites at Burn.
Our drinks go flying.
Bayou and I jump in the middle, separate them and Bayou manages to get nipped, yet again, from Crash.
Crash is pissed.
He is put into his crate for a time out and Burn is isolated to the kitchen.
We clean up the mess and I lose it.

Why can't we have the happy go lucky dogs everyone else has?
Why do they have to be so terrible to each other?
I am crying to Bayou, "How would we ever be able to live in this house and raise a child when things can get this out of hand?!"
This morning I get up early as I am alone to get the dogs and myself ready for the day.
Bayou is plowing snow.
The weather is gauged at a high of 15 which means I need extra time to get dressed in all my layers, I need to throw a pile of laundry in the dryer, make coffee, and get my shit together.

Burn has puked all over his crate and the drapery next to it.
Crash is adamant about not going outside, and I am adamant about not having him shit in the house.
Crash would rather die biting me than go outside so it's a tricky game to coax him to do it.

They are finally in their coats and outside and I am fearful of their paws getting frostbite so I rush to clean up Burn's cage, the wall, the drapery, disinfect everything, and change the blankets.

They can get very territorial over food or food-like things such as it has to be spotless otherwise shit will hit the fan.

I don't know.
Maybe it's not so bad.
It just seems like it's a lot for dogs, and it gets exhausting training them not to be complete assholes all the time.

Burn is in this weird humping faze with all the new people that come over to the house.
And he is so big that is actually isn't cute.
It's embarrassing as Hell.

Crash is good with people and kids as long as you aren't moving any inanimate objects or asking him to do anything he doesn't want to do.

Burn has a fun little predatory drive and wants to eat our cat.
I think kids actually fall into that mix, but we haven't given it too much of a test drive without a muzzle.

I can assure you we have spent countless hours in training classes and training on our own.
Training bulldogs is like trying to train a rock. They are stubborn and wear on my ever loving last nerves.
So don't think we just "don't know what to do."  or aren't "trying hard enough"
I wouldn't be so high strung if I wasn't constantly trying new ways for everyone to just fucking get along.

 Sigh....just gotta keep hiking up my big girl panties and trudging forward.
They deserve that much.

TBag. Out.

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