Feb 16, 2013

We be shoppin'

Bayou said he needed pants because he wore his last pair of "good" pants to work and splattered paint all over them.  Good pants are defined, per Bayou, as the pants that cut off the circulation to his balls.  Apparently gross, super sagging carpenters jeans with too many pockets, that are ill-fitting = socially acceptable pants in Bayou's eyes, and pants actually fit his small man ass = ball smashing goodness.  I also didn't realize he had elephantiasis, but I digress.

What is even more important is that I really really needed new pants as well because I keep having this issue where I try to squeeze into freshly dried pants and then THIS happens.

This is EPIC people.  Bayou and I are actually going to go shopping. To a REAL store. TOGETHER.  Willingly.

Here's the thing. I haven't set foot in a store specifically designed for clothes and/or accessories in many, many months.  And I can't remember the last time I used the phrase mall or saw one.  It's been years, I think. Maybe more. Does the world still have malls? Why do people go to them? They are just so terrible.  There is this fancy new thing I have been dabbling with called online shopping.  Here, there are no shiny distractions or clothing pushers tell me "I look so cuuuute!" when the crotch of whatever pants I'm in is clear down to my knees or my ass crack is falling out of some sexy low rise jeans.  Ugh...low rise.  Those WERE NOT designed for people with real asses or hips.  The zipper is exactly 1/2 an inch long. People, I have pubes longer than that!  Just kidding. Pubes are gross.   To prove that I just seriously never shop in stores, I was still hanging onto a gift card to a fun little jewelry store called Francesca's from my birthday. Which was LAST YEAR. In the summer.  It is almost a year later.

Part of my problem with actually stepping foot into these fun stores is just that. They are too fun. And I will spend all of my money in them without blinking. I start salivating at the upbeat dance music and shiny metals and bright colors and IJUSTWANTALLOFITRIGHTNOWINMYFACE!

So we agreed to head over the the closest "mall" to our house. Deer Park.  I use the word mall with quotes because they forgot to enclose it with walls and heat.  So in the winter it's downright terrible and a pain to have to find a parking spot to the two stores you want to go to that are on opposite ends of the "mall" because you can't walk between them because it's -20 outside and snowing and you have heavy bags of clothes and you don't want to start sweating on the inside and freeze on the outside.

Unless you get to go with your husband that is willing to drop you off at the door, park, walk with into the fun jewelry store before we hit the Gap for pants, then go get said car while you are checking out.  He is dapper like that sometimes.

OK...moving on.  So I ended up using my gift card at the jewelry store to purchase these!  

My style is pretty defined. I like a neutral palette with a bold pop of color, clean, geometric lines, and something that will stand out as an accent piece.  If my clothing is neutral, then these pieces of jewelry are the statement.  If my outfit is bold, then my jewelry is minimal or neutral.

Plus, I'm dying for it to be summer already, so the oranges caught my eye on this outing.

Then, Bayou and I each purchased two pairs of jeans at the Gap.  I bought a standard, replacement pair of medium wash boot cut jeans and then I saw these and snatched them up.

They cater to my hillbilly side.

Here is the link if you love them as much as I do.  Plus, if you use your Gap card this weekend, they are an additional 25% off.  Mama loves herself a good deal!

Side note; remember THIS post when I said we decided we weren't getting things for each other?

He lied.

And bought me flowers and a card with an entire hand written novel in it. It was really sweet.  And then I felt immediately guilty about sticking to the plans and not buying him anything. Damnit.

And because I am still obsessed and trying to figure out my new camera, here is a movie-like pile of photos showing the reaction of Crash when Burn sloshes up behind him.  Watch his eyes. He is ALWAYS on guard. It's hilarious until he becomes bitey. 

Crash is chillin

I can smell him before I see him!

Shit! Must be on guard in case this fool attacks me!

I'm just going to bug my eyes out a bit more and lean away from him. 

Droppin' Dolla Billz
TBag. Out.