Feb 5, 2013

Pot pies, strippers and airbrushing....don't attempt together

Hey hey hey!

Today is a random Tuesday post.  There have been a million few not so fun things I have been dealing with in my life that I figured I would counter the bad stuff with some lighter stuff and maybe they would just cancel each other out.

First....it's time again to share the love.  Did you know Gilded TBags has a Facebook page?

Of course you did.

But do your friends?  Probably not.  So this is what we are gonna do.  Pick this post or your favorite post so far and share it on your Facebook page or Pin it to Pinterest?  Easy right?  And since you are probably reading this at work, you are already slacking so this will just be the cherry on top.

Gilded is on the brink of 3,000 page views!! Which is totes awesome!! However, I only have 20 following friends, and while that is 18 more than I have in real in life.....it's supah lame in the interwebs world.

Help me be cool!

The way I see this working is, you share my shit, your friends think I am a gold mine of psychotic ramblings and they "like" my Facebook page HERE!  And then I have more virtual friends and pour out a little virtual booze on their behalf.

Now on to the events of last nights evening.  I got home from another thrilling work day to Bayou who worked all hours of the night as:
 because we FINALLY had our first snow storm of the winter season.  I made a crockpot beef stew Sunday and we decided to have leftovers as a pot pie tonight.  Awesome and easy right?  Ok....not so much.  The minute I walked in the door, Bayou is already asking how long it will take for the pies to be ready because he is "SOOOOOO HUNGRY" and apparently anything that has to be baked is out of his range of kitchen knowledge.  I let the pie crusts thaw and shape them into slightly larger discs than the ramekins they were to go in. I am attempting a double crust (one below, one above), so there is carby goodness with every bite.  The dough went from an icecube to a terrible mess in a matter of seconds.  It's falling to pieces in my hand, I can't press it nicely into the bottom and the sides like the picture!!!  THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EASY!!  And now I'm getting mad because this should have only taken minutes to put together and it's going on an hour and my toddler husband is whining because his "tummy is growling"....UGH.
In the end, the pies WERE delicious yet extremely rustic looking.  I am going with that analogy because "chunky, lumpy bread piles" don't sound appealing.

On to our dinner conversation.  First, I was asked if we could "invest" in a $500 airbrush to continue Bayou's new "hobby" of being the next big car airbrusher stencil sprayer-whatever.


It's not like he is using the airbrush for USEFUL things like a sweet 80's t-shirt with my name on it! 

He doesn't even own any unicorn stencils!!!!

So anyways, this, like every other hobby and new task he decides to get involved with, I have to back him 100% or he will be upset that I'm not "chasing his dreams with him."  It keeps him busy when he's bored since it's too cold to play with the throwing stars I just HAD to buy him for his birthday a few years back.

Ha...did you just choke reading that last sentence?  Yes, this is my husband.  Don't be jealous.

And then we move onto Bayou's savior...Howard Stern.
He was saying that Mr. Stern was playing a game on his talk show with a gaggle of strippers called "Dumber than a box of rocks."  The idea of the game was, each fancy lady was asked a common knowledge question and if they got it wrong, they had to announce they were dumber than a box of rocks.  I would imagine this would be less shameful than their actual job, but who am I to judge.
So I snort with laughter at how STUPID these strippers are and have Bayou ask me some of those questions just to show off how large my brain is.

Um....no.  No it is not large. Here were some of the questions:

What is John F. Kennedy's middle name?- I DIDN'T KNOW
Who invented electricity?- I got this one right, only to have Mark say it was a dumb question because no one actually invented electricity, it was discovered and then developed.  I loss points for how smart that sounded.
Who said, "My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." - I DIDN'T KNOW

And the list goes on.  

I am a fucking retard.

But the thing is....most of these questions had to with dead presidents and history....two subjects I just honestly don't know enough about...if anything.  And Bayou LOVES watching the History channel and knows all the dates of important events and wars and presidents and lame stuff like that.

But where are the math problems?  And environmental science problems? And questions about more general every day things like the difference between and iPhone and an Andriod, and who KStew was dating?  

So I say....don't feel so bad stupid strippers.  Because maybe you are just putting yourself through college or had a bad childhood, but you don't have to have the DUMB label either because you made poor life choices.  NO no no....there are plenty of standard people in the world that don't know which president did what and you know what?  We still get up in the morning and put pants on the correct leg and drive cars to work and eat food with silverware and not our hands, and manage to take care of pets and babies and spouses without too much harm, and we did it all without Presidential knowledge.

And to that....rock on strippers.  Rock on.

Ninja Stars and Lucite Heels,
TBag. Out.