Jan 23, 2013

A Glimpse into my sick mind and the people I drag along the slimy path

Text conversation at 7am on the way to work, between myself and a sassy lady we will call Mink Ass Mama from A Life From Scratch .
Sorry Mama....it's too funny not to share with the masses!

 TBag: My crotch is a size 4 and my waist is a size two....I know this because the last three pairs of jeans busted in the crotch before I had a chance to wear them out. What types of exercises would you recommend for a smaller crotch? Kegels? Thrusting? LOL

Mink Ass Mama:  I'm Dying.  Ummm. I'd go with extra thrusting but watch out during pregnancy for an even bigger crotch. Scary.

TBag: Seriously girl....what if after birth I am stuck waddling for the rest of my life because it ends up looking like udders?

Mink Ass Mama: I'm not going to lie...that's definitely possible!  Oye the waddling....

TBag: Awesome. I can see it now.  It's summer, and Bayou and I are outside.  He thrust slightly to adjust his schweaty balls and I thrust to unglue my labia stuck to my thigh. SE-XY!

Mink Ass Mama: I just choked on my coffee!!

TBag: What if it ends up sagging so much I trip over it while picking up Legos? Has anyone ever gone to the ER for something like that?  Elephantitus Labia?

Mink Ass Mama: Um Ewww, I'm sure someone has had that but YOU won't!!!

TBag: Yea and even if I do, I'm pretty craft. I could fashion a labia holster that keeps 'em rolled up.

Mink Ass Mama:  Exactly!

And after this conversation I was trolling around on Pinterest and found this gem.  You're Welcome.

Soggy TBags and Saggy Vag's 4 life.