Aug 9, 2012

Wine Wasted Wednesday and the inevitable deep thoughts that come with drinking too much

Let me start off by saying that Karma really is a little bitch.  Why? Because of a series of events that occurred during the day yesterday that led me to come home and get Wednesday Wine Wasted on the floor of my kitchen.

Luckily I'm woke up feeling awesome, so what I am clearly trying to say is the key to a good night sleep is to have to wait and wait and wait for the government workers to get their shit together after you have PATIENTLY been waiting for over an hour (who does this?) and then have to scurry back and forth between your work and your train 5 extra times because you forgot things and were hoping to dodge the rain that was clearly coming and your Skilling sense is way off and then you caught in a down pour and you have no idea whether you are soggy from hobbling in the rain in platform wedges at an irate speed or from the soaked clothes and because you have basically given up on life at this point you start to savor your box o wine on the train and then have more wine on the floor of your kitchen while having deep thoughts with your husband about sensible cars and saving money and WHY you think American Mattress is still in business when there are clearly cheaper stores that sell other things besides mattresses and then you start talking about how awesome that Cheeto Mattress commercial is:

And then after you shovel some carbs in your face hole you fancy dance with your fat Retarded dog and then get sidetracked because the rape van  ice cream truck is rounding the corner and the mere sound of that annoying music is making you salivate and beg your husband for change to buy a dirty ice cream bar.  And then you run to the ice cream truck, barefoot, and push the smaller kids out of the way by their heads to get to the front of the line to get yo ice cream Eddie Murphy style:

Ok, I didn't actually push any kids out of the way (yes i did) but I DID get glared at and get the side eye and eye rolling all at the same time by other adults in the neighborhood so I suppose it's a win win for everyone.
 Mostly from Bayou.  Who, on a daily basis probably asks WHY OH WHY did he agree to marry such a special person...because obviously I know how to act like a lady in public:

Word to your Bird

And drink moderately

Pure Class

.....and then I remind him that I have to deal with this:

Concentrating super hard on "dancing"
 and this:

Stretching the calf and groin muscles

And on that note; I leave you with this gem.  You're Welcome.

Sexy Sax's,
TBag. Out.

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