Jul 21, 2012

PiYo and OPK...sadly the two most exciting things in my life today

My life has been consumed with peeing onto and into things recently

..... and no, it's not Kardashian training, I got a little pink box of OPK sticks to consume my life into deciphering just how similar two lines are.  What.....you're not down with baby acronym lingo? OPK is Ovulation Predictor Kit.  I know.....I just made all the men reading this horny right....RIGHT?  Listen.....this may be another feeble attempt at what is essentially nothing, but if I'm not going to be getting a "+" sign on a preg test anytime soon at least these stupid OPK sticks allow some shred of excitement to watch the second line continue to get darker as I get closer to egg cruising time.   Prior to this, I was consumed with reading all about luteal phases and what happens if mine is too short and how to fix it with all these other things and why I am turning into a complete psycho by actually BELIEVING the assholes on yahoo.com/answers when they are clearly not doctors nor actually know what the fuck they are talking about.  But it's on the interwebs which means it has to be true......

Bayou and I woke up with raging hangovers this morning after getting overly excited from the Cirque du Soleil Michael Jackson tribute show last night
Which, by the way was LEGEN
.........wait for it, and I hope you aren't lactose intolerant.......


and epic and awesome and I cried and danced and cried a little more, and acted like people weren't staring at me with their judging eyes because we were all in the same trance from all the lights and glitter gloves and armbands, and then I tried to moonwalk in wedges, and failed, and Bayou laughed at me, but we were 5TH ROW!! So close I could touch all the crazy circus performers like they were actually the Legend himself, like a child would (too soon?)

....and I asked him to please please please go downstairs and grab both tylenol and tums....these are the two biggest bottles I could find from Meijers and are clearly labeled. .....However, even though I also told him they were the largest bottles and EXACTLY where they were (thank you photographic memory), he managed to tear apart the entire medicine closet and more than likely stumbled upon the creepy baby pic on the front of my OPK kit.  However, I don't think he put two and two together and never actually said anything about it.  Yay me. 

And on a less gross and intimate note.....I have been taking classes religiously on my lunch breaks at Enrgi fitness and the instructor in my PiYo class pulled me aside to personally invite me to take her instructors training course because, OBVIOUSLY, I would rock your socks off at teaching that sort of thing.  What is PiYo you ask?  That crazy lady Chalene from Turbo Kick developed a workout technique that combines Yoga, Pilates and strength moves to coregraphed super fun dance music and it looks a little something like this.......

Pretty cool huh?  So what do you think....should I do it? I think it would relatively awesome to actually teach this to a group of willing participants at a local gym or something.  Do any of you creepers have any suggestions or additional information to help get this little side gig of mine in motion? I will be fully certified for 2 years in the middle of August to teach these classes, and I would suppose I may need other certs like CPR and Group Fitness such and such......your feedback and skills are always much obliged.

Alright, this post was extremely kind-of boring, and I apologize.....my head is still foggy from the gin and tonics....and wine.......and side cars....and MJ dancers.  I'm off to kayak my face off.

Who's Bad?

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